Editor’s note: The use of generative AI goes against The Knox Student’s ethics and originality policies. AI was not used in the making of this or past stories.
I started using AI in college. I thought one assignment wouldn’t matter–but that one choice made me dependent on it. I bargained my creativity for spare time, which led me not to produce authentic work. I knew I could’ve done it on my own, but I stunted my own growth and formed an unhealthy copying habit.
If anyone uses ChatGPT because it helps them understand the material, then this column is not for you. My argument is not to discredit AI but rather to show the pros and cons. AI can be a tremendous source for anyone, gathering information to help them process the material they’re assigned. I’m suggesting that AI can be misused inappropriately, which is harmful and detrimental to my process.
The use of AI prevented me from cultivating a new way of thinking, especially when I arrived at Knox. I didn’t think anything of it until I started losing track of time and papers. Coming to college was a different level of discipline, different because Knox woke up my mind. I lacked structure. Knox made me realize through the honor code that it’s not about getting everything right, it’s about learning. The use of AI stopped me from learning. I cheated myself.
I struggled with time management. The first week of class went by smoothly, but then came the second and third weeks, and I fell behind in classes. As a result, I started to crack, emotionally and academically. My advisor, Brandi Grimes, had numerous conversations with me about my academics–early alerts said I’m too committed to outside influences, such as activities on campus, friends, parties, etc. I had to ask myself what’s more important, school or social life? I chose school; unfortunately, I didn’t stop using AI. AI took away my curiosity and engagement; it made everything look too easy. Then the class discussions started, but I wasn’t a part of any. How could I when it was AI that knew the right thing to say, the precise thing to ask? My intelligence wasn’t conceptual—at least that’s what I thought.
I wasn’t ashamed of using AI; I didn’t even feel guilty. Unfortunately, I resented myself for not trying to do the assignments. To be transparent, I felt limited due to consistently running to ChatGPT when time ran out. It’s the same feeling you get if you’ve ever been an addict trying to get sober. I want to stop smoking, cheating, lying, and stealing, but I can’t because if I stop, then I will face the feeling of discomfort. If no one has told you, the smartest people ask for help. When I realized that AI was a tool to spare time without making sacrifices, I signed away my brain cells.
Before I could tell myself it’s okay to get things wrong, I received an email from Associate Professor of Peace and Justice Leanne Trapedo Sims about my use of AI in an abstract I had submitted. We had a meeting the next day about my work. Instead of punishing me, she gave me a second chance.
This experience reminded me of what it means to be human. I couldn’t run to AI to conjure up a perfect synopsis to get me out of this. I had to face the facts: That I was an imposter.
As a creative writing major who dreams of becoming an author, I had to ask myself if I use AI to write for me, then where’s my voice? How can I exercise the thoughts or concepts in my head if AI is presenting them for me? Something had to change.
Recently, I reached out to Associate Professor of English and Theatre, Sherwood Kiraly. He said something that resonated with that idea.
“Students in a creative writing course are trying to become individual artists, and AI is the opposite of that, so using AI to write creatively would be canceling oneself out,” said Kiraly.
In my classes, I feel more present than I did last year. I’m a part of the discussions. I’m writing on chalkboards and going to tutoring every Wednesday and Thursday in SMC ( Science Mathematics Center). I’m not just part of the air—I’m a living organism that’s moving, thinking, and evolving. My mind has been cultivating an intellect that I thought was lost due to convenience. Now my mind is alive again.
In conclusion, the purpose of this column is to share my lived experience with AI through transparency. For two terms, AI took my credibility. I was battling an AI-generated conceptual way of thinking and living, scared to even raise my hand without an AI assistant. You may have been there too, letting ChatGPT or another AI-generated site do your work while you went to class for a lecture on that very subject. It’s this codependency that stopped me from developing a working and fluid mind. This is how AI was detrimental to my development.
Now I’m reclaiming my own sense of identity. I ask you to do the same for this week. Try by answering a question or doing that assignment you keep procrastinating to start, like that final paper, for example. Don’t worry about your ideas or thoughts not being clear; get a feel of what you’re trying to say or do. When we see our thoughts, emotions on paper, then we can thoroughly add on to points. Ask a friend for their opinion on your assignment, and have a discussion about your ideas. AI can not rob you of your conceptuality. Be different, be unique.
